Stratton's Adoption Journey

Blog in Print

2006-11-29T18:17:00.000-05:00

This blog exists in print. To purchase a copy go to iuniverse.

In the unlikely event that I make a profit, this money will go to Kaden's college account.

The Blog Book

2006-10-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

For those who've read this story but would like to have a copy to hold, for those who haven't because they can't sit in front of a computer screen that long, but mostly for Kaden as a keepsake, I'm having this blog printed up as a paperback book. It's in the works with iuniverse and I'm not sure about the timeline but when it's available I will make an update. I'm hoping that enough people will want copies for me to break even (I get royalties on any sale and it will be available on amazon.com), and should Kaden's story actually make some money well, profit would go into his college saving account. Anyway, stayed tuned for more details.

Last Post

2005-07-17T19:29:00.000-05:00

Some of you (and there have indeed been numerous people) have been cracking me up - urging me to keep going with this thing. People have said it's been like a soap opera/reality t.v. -- well, the series must end sometime and why not now when I've got the new Harry Potter to occupy my time during Kaden's naps?!

As for my state of mind almost two weeks into the motherhood thing... I'd be lying if I said I've completely attached to Kaden. Sometimes I feel like a mom and sometimes I feel like a babysitter. The first day when we were out and about I wondered if people would assume he was mine or if they could tell somehow he hasn't been with me his whole life. I felt relieved when, in Eckerd, a women struck up a conversation, commenting on the Bjorn. She said her kids wouldn't have anything to do with it and then asked if Kaden was my only child.

But the in-love-with-him part of me continues to grow, even on bad days like today.

Here are some of the things about him I already love like crazy:

I love the "augh" noise he makes and how he sometimes turns his head to the side when he does it. The noise sounds like a soda can being opened.

I love two-tear sneezes. (Had some of those today.)

I love that he isn't scared of Gus at all. I thought surely Gus would do something to startle him (like when he barked for the first time) but nope, Kaden is all about the Gussers.

I love when he "sings" along with me or the radio.

I love that last night when he woke me up at 3:30am because he was crying he stopped when I picked him up and laid him on my chest. I simply sat with him for awhile in his big red chair and then put him back in his crib and he was fine.

I love when he falls asleep while drinking his bottle, shakes back awake and resumes drinking.

I love watching him manage food with his fingers.

I love that he loves it when I laugh. When he does something that cracks me up (intended or not) he gets a surprised and then very happy look on his face.

I love how happy bath time makes him.

I love thinking about our future. The short-term: What will his first word be?! When will he be confident to use the walking toys and then step out on his own? The long-term: How will God use his life? How will his Russian heritage effect his interests when he's a teen or older?

One journey has ended but the bigger one has begun. But don't worry - this part has paperwork too. It's called Post Placement Reports!

Happy in the Evening

2005-07-17T19:27:00.000-05:00

He survived the beach and a haircut from Dad!

Not Happy During Haircut

2005-07-17T19:22:00.000-05:00

Since he had such a rotten day we figured we'd add one more bad thing - get it all in and start fresh tomorrow. Actually the haircut wasn't so terrible. I think right after I took this picture I went and got a jar of baby food and fed him while Kevin continued and that kept him pacified. After the haircut we took a bath which he loves so he was in a decent mood this evening in spite of today's traumas.

Not Happy at the Beach

2005-07-17T19:19:00.000-05:00

We were only there for an hour. I'd say he cry/whined 45 minutes of that time. He pretty much hated everything.

Miscellaneous Tips

2005-07-17T12:17:00.000-05:00

Some folks plan to drug their babies into sleeping on the flight. I wasn't up for that. To get Kaden to sleep we simply gave him a bottle of formula. First time - 10 minute nap, 2nd time - 45 minute nap, 3rd time - no luck, and last time - two hours. He would have slept longer but we'd landed and had to get him up to go.

When packing clothes for your kid - think small. Kaden is sixteen months and the 12 month stuff is still pretty big on him. As for shoes - try to get his size the first visit. Either trace his foot, or guess at a size, bring along some shoes and see if they fit - so you'll know what size to pack for trip #2.

On trip #2, pack a hat for your kid.

If you don't want your kid in goofy orphanage clothes the whole time you're visiting him - pack clothes for him to wear on your visits. We left two outfits for Kaden which we did not want returned and they put him in these (always clean) for us.

It seems to us, at least in our region, that they are getting overloaded on clothes and toys. Instead, collect money, and make a donation for vitamins or medicine. If you aren't comfortable giving money to the orphanage just ask the orphanage doctors for suggestions and buy the vitamins and medicine in Russia.

So many people labor over what to bring as gifts for orphanage workers. It seems you can skip the worry about to buy State-side for them and save the luggage space. Instead buy them a cake and some champagne in Russia. We actually packed gifts for the care-givers in Kaden's room but still bought them a cake as well since this has become customary. We were told, while there we should have a present for the head social worker and Kaden's doctor, so we bought some Lindt chocolates at a Russian grocery store for those gifts.

Bring a toy or two with you during orphanage visits that you plan to keep. This way there will be something familiar once your kid leaves the orphanage.

After our first visit, we left a "Who Loves Baby" soft picture book with pictures of us and the grandparents but we aren't convinced Kaden ever saw it between visits. (It was back in a closet.) So, if you leave things for your child between visits it's likely you'll get them back but don't count on the child getting to use it when you're gone.

Souveniers are great in Moscow - Arbat Street. We did no souvenier shopping in region - there was nothing worth buying.

Poopy Day

2005-07-17T11:42:00.000-05:00

This afternoon we plan to go to the beach so I hope to be able to end this blog on a positive note with a happy, toes-in-the-sand, Kaden pictures, but so far his day has been rough. Three poopy diapers before 12:30. Messy ones. His body is figuring out what to do with these new foods. I've been trying to go slow with the new introductions (all I've added since we've been home has been cottage cheese, peaches, and whatever is in those organic kiddy granola bars I bought) but it's not like food is his only stress... Plus he's back to having a runny nose. Poor kid. We've got a doc's apointment on Friday - he needs to hold on!

I did attempt to check his temperature and if I did it right (big if) then he's totally fine, and he doesn't really feel warm.

In other news - Kevin went to church this morning and everyone was super excited and thrilled with the pictures he brought along. It's tradition for church members to bring dinner to families with new babies so the free meal brigade begins tonight. (Yippee!)

Self-Feeding Success

2005-07-16T20:18:00.000-05:00

Today during a snack we actually got Kaden to feed himself some banana, so tonight when we went out to eat I ordered Kaden a plane piece of grilled chicken which we cut up for him and we set the plate in front of him and he went to town. I'd say less than 50% ended up on the floor. Not bad! And the best part was we were able to eat in peace. We didn't have to take a bite, then feed him, and continue in that alternating pattern. We all just ate!

I think the dog is really going to enjoy this as well. More scraps for him.

Oh, and like the bib in the bottom picture? I got it in London. Our kid is stylin'

The future of this blog...

2005-07-16T10:15:00.000-05:00

I don't intend to keep this blog going. In fact, I plan for tomorrow, Sunday, to be my last day of posting. I started this blog because when we were researching adoption I found the blogs of others'to be quite helpful and interesting. It has turned out to be a great resource for friends and family to keep tabs on our boy and the progress of this adoption. It also has served as a journal which I plan to print and make into a book of some sort to go with Kaden's own picture album (my version of a "life book").

And I know that adoption "issues" keep going once a child is home and there is still much to be learned from adoptive families sharing information with each other, but I think that for this webboards and Adoptive Family Magazine will suffice.

So, I've got to end things. Not because I can't find the time. Oh, I always manage to eek out iternet time, but because I figure my kid will have enough to hold against me when he's a teenager so his personal, growing up details published on the internet is not another thing I want added to the list.

Thanks for following along though!

Naps

2005-07-16T10:13:00.000-05:00

I tried to hold him to one post-lunch nap today but we had meltdown just before 10:30am. He finally got a good night's sleep (8pm - 6:45am - perhaps he's over his jet lag!) ) so I thought today could be the day. I was wrong.

Tub Time

2005-07-15T19:23:00.000-05:00

Blah and Today's News

2005-07-15T16:03:00.000-05:00

It seems we can't return from Russia without one of us getting throw-up sick. Last time Kevin got food poisoning and was throwing up en route on the way home. This time I started to get a flu-sick achy on the way home but nothing too bad. But by Thursday night something hit me full force and I was throwing up - only I hadn't eaten so I was mostly gagging and or just throwing up Gator Aid. By lunch time today my appetite had returned and I'm feeling better.

Kaden got up a little before six am but was clearly still tired (laying down while playing) so he went down for a nap between 8am - 10pm (and so did I, since I'm trying to get healthy). Then we went out and about - to Toys R Us, to the Organic Food Store for baby food, and to drop off film. Kaden much prefers American roads and drivers over Russian roads and drivers.

Kevin came home to Kaden actually using his fingers to eat -- a granola bar type thing I'd gotten at the organic food store. Kaden had it all over his shirt, face and hands (it was a sticky granola bar not a dry one) so, lots of fun.

A Big Thanks

2005-07-15T16:01:00.000-05:00

To my dad who housesat for us while we were in Russia. He made sure our lawn got mowed, he gassed up our cars, he kept the hurricanes away from Wilmington, he even had Gus's dog bed washed. It was such a relief not to have to worry about things at home while we were gone. It's nice to have a dad who's retired!

Kaden's First Outing

2005-07-15T15:57:00.000-05:00

Was to Toys R Us... I have walker type toys for him - but he isn't even confident enough of a walker to get behind 'em and go, so today we went out and bought a jumping swing thing (hangs in doorframe) so he can hopefully strengthen his legs with it by hopping up and down.

Kaden Explores His Room

2005-07-14T12:11:00.000-05:00

1. Kaden just threw a block at Gus and finds this very funny. 2. Kaden meets his stuffed animals. 3. Kaden and some toys from his grandparents.

Kaden Dmitriy Stratton - US Citizen!

2005-07-14T06:15:00.000-05:00

I know you're all dying to know whether or not we ever made it to Gorky park on Tuesday afternoon. We did not. Instead we met up with Igor, Luda and their sons Alexi and Feodor for an afternoon at the Moscow Zoo. I'm not sure what Kaden got out of this excursion. We paid extra to see a dolphin show and he never seemed to be looking in the right places but at least we met up with this Russian Wilmington family and helped seal that connection with them.

Next you're all dying to know about how we faired on the plane. Just fine. Much, much better than I'd hoped. Kaden was his fussiest that morning in the comfort of the VIP lounge. Once we got on the plane he was remarkably easily entertained. As soon as we got on the plane I gave him a bottle for his lunch and he fell asleep for take-off. Unfortunately this nap only lasted about ten minutes. Around 3:30 I gave him another bottle and he fell asleep and napped for 45 minutes. I tried again around 6:30 with no success. His fussiest was probably after that when we tried to get him to sleep. But around 7:30 when we officially gave up and went back to entertaining him he was all smiles. Around 9:30 I gave him another bottle and then he crashed - slept the last two hours of the flight even through the landing!

He was understandably tired and cranky in the Atlanta airport which we pacified with food and then again on the plane to Wilmington which we just dealt with but then at the very end it was quite turbulent and we circled three times before landing and I just held him tight and he didn't cry at all. Once we got home it was all excitement at the newness of everything.

Kaden isn't scared of Gus at all. Not from our arms looking down at him and not while seated in the floor while being licked by him. He's seems quite pleased that he got an American family with a dog.

We don't know how Kaden feels about Noodle because there seems to be no more Noodle. My beloved kitty has been MIA since Sunday (he couldn't have waited three more days!?). I'm going to put up posters in our neighborhood but I'm not entirely hopeful. I'm sad but not overwhelmingly so. I'd prepared myself for Noodle's death back when he was sick before we left and I'd given DNR instructions if he had the same problem while we were gone but if I stopped to think about it (and so far no time) I'd be more sad.

Kaden went to bed around 9pm US time, Kevin shortly thereafter, myself after that. I was first up around 4:30am, then Kaden around 4:45 (much to my disappointment - I wanted to get some things done!) then Kevin a little after 5am. Kevin was off to work by 6am and Kaden was back down for a nap just before 7am which pretty much brings me to the present...

plenty to do!

2005-07-14T05:48:00.000-05:00

Our pile of mail and our living room this morning.

We're Home

2005-07-13T20:15:00.000-05:00

And Kaden is asleep in his crib. It was actually a good day of traveling. More tomorrow...

Another Step Closer

2005-07-13T01:32:00.000-05:00

We're in the Moscow airport and thanks to a hook up we're in the VIP lounge with free snacks and free internet! Kaden is alternately fussy and happy so there's no predicting his mood on the plane. Right before we leave the VIP lounge I'll probably prepare another bottle and try to get him calm at least - boarding time (12:55) coincides with nap time. Hmmmmm.

Looks like we're getting out of Russia right in time. Because of another abuse/killing (An American women just killed her two-year daughter adopted from Russia) there's a current outcry for an overhaul of the system. There could be a big time slow-down in adoptions out of Russia coming up... (and perhaps there should be all things considered) We just hope this doesn't affect our friends who were supposed to get custody yesterday and the friends we met our first week in Volgograd who were on their first trip. There is no adoption related court in the month of July so maybe that will help. Who knows.

I can hear my boy so I better go help Kevin...

Last Post from Russia?

2005-07-12T02:52:00.000-05:00

I'm blogging so guess what the boys are doing?

It really amazes me how quickly Kaden goes down for naps (less than 5 minutes of crying almost every time) and how much he fights it at night. (Last night he was in the crib around 8pm and played and cried on and off until a little before nine, but at least he slept till almost 8am.)

As for one nap vs. two naps it all depends on his mood, what we're doing and how long his first naps was. (Yesterday he napped for almost three hours.)

Today he's a happier baby. His nose is improved. This morning Kevin went down to breakfast and I was finishing getting ready and Kaden was crawling about or pulling himself up and then moving along where he could support himself via furniture. If he got stuck to where he couldn't go any further he'd whine but I'd say, "Kaden" in a serious/sharp tone and he'd stop.

There's definitly a difference between whining and crying. He can be distracted and stopped from whining but crying - only sleep or food stops crying and for the most part need for sleep and want of food (for it's no doubt not need) brings on the crying. It's amazing to me that after a week of our own rituals/patterns where the bottle ALWAYS follows hot cereal during breakfast and dinner he still cries (I mean really cries!) in the short time it takes us to put down the bowl and pick up the bottle. This kid. Issues.

So you know: If you've got a little kid in Russia be sure to always have him in a hat. Also, for little kids, sandels must be worn with socks. If you don't have the proper attire on your kid, Russians will look at you like you're a crackhead. Luckily we knew all this before we got Kaden.

Habits: Kevin says I need to stop flicking him off because it's habit Kaden is likely to pick up. I say if Kaden picks up on this it is Kevin's own fault for annoying me so often and the only one who needs to change his ways is Kevin.

Today: We attempted to go to Gorky park. We walked all the way to the ferry place (about 20 minutes) but we arrived at 10am and apparently the first ferry doesn't go till 11am. So then we walked back. Gorky is too far to walk and too expensive via taxi. We wanted to get there by boat but this was not to be. Our Moscow coordinator is going to stop by at 3:30 to return Kaden's Russian passport (He takes care of all our registering on the Russia end while we just hang out.) so maybe we'll ask him to drive us to Gorky park then and explain to us how to take a ferry home once we are there. I don't think there's anything special about Gorky park - we just have it in our heads that we would like to go there.

Another option for this afternoon is that we could hang out with Igor and Luda if they call us. Igor and Luda are Russians who live in Wilmington and go to our church but are back in Russia visiting family. They are only in Moscow (mostly they stay in St. Petersburg) for a week, so they may not call us (since today is our only
overlapping day) but maybe.

This internet time sure has cost us - I was on an hour yesterday so that was $15! I don't just blog - yesterday I was preparing my syllabus for a lit class I'll be teaching. Today I have to plan my lesson plans and email them because I will be missing the first class (It's tomorrow.)

Please be praying for us on our crazy journey tomorrow.

Counting Down...

2005-07-11T04:55:00.000-05:00

Sunday evening I wanted a break from McDonalds. After Kaden's nap we went to the 31st floor of our hotel - to the observation deck. It was a great view but also chilly up there.

A little history about the area around our hotel: We're right across the river from the "White House" where Russian parliment meets. It is crazy to picture tanks on the bridge in front of our hotel firing at that pretty building but in 1993 Yeltsin ordered tanks to do just that -- while parliment was inside! Our Moscow coordinator says that Russians were watching the "show" and laughing but then snipers starting picking off people in the crowd. It's crazy to imagine.

We went for an early dinner in a hotel restaurant (decided to take a break from McDonalds). Our hotel has about five restaurants but we wanted to stick with the smaller/less smoky ones. The first one we went to didn't have a high chair so we just returned to the place we'd eaten before. There was nothing on the menu I wanted but finally I settled on "Chicken Kiev" (They provide English menus but there are only titles, no descriptions of the food!) This pretty much turned out to be a fancy type of fried chicken. So, a non-McDonalds, dinner was still successful. (But 4x more expensive)

Kaden was good last night until bed time. He was yawning and rubbing his eyes and he'd only had one nap so I decided to just start the bedtime routine early. We had a fun bath. (He likes baths at this hotel where we have a big tub and one of us gets in with him.) Then the dinner routine... He was falling asleep during his bottle but the minute I put him in his crib -- wide awake, wailing. Kevin went to the floor lobby to read. I stayed out of sight in the entryway to read but he just kept wailing. After about 30 minutes I worried if he was scared. So I spoke to him but the wailing just got louder. Finally I figured there was no point in my being uncomfortable if he wasn't going to sleep so I got in bed to read. With me in sight, he would sometimes cry and sometimes play. Finally about 20 till 9 he fell asleep and we'd put him down just after 7pm! But he also stayed asleep till 8:30am this morning.

He's having a cranky day. His congestion is mostly gone - no tears in the sneezing today and not even a lot of sneezing but his nose is raw so when it does need wiped he fusses. We borrowed a stroller from our coordinator (another American family left it with him for people to use) and went for a walk along the river. Kaden cried most of the time. I decided it was because it was too chilly?

Once we got back to the hotel he was happy. We got ready to visit a nearby monastary with our coordinator - that went well, a subsequent walk around a lake when well, but just before we got back to the car - tantrum. I decided that one was because we had to walk up a pretty steep incline to get back and he was uncomfortable in the stroller in that position.

We then went to a "Sparrow Hill" where Kaden was fussy but ok (afterall he was overdue for lunch and a nap by then) but in the car on the way back to the hotel - meltdown. I'll blame that one on the nap/lunch overdue combo plus the fact that I think he was too hot. When we got back we fed him and put him down and he was out in less than two minutes.

I think as we get to know him better and predict him better we're getting more accustomed to his moods and they have less impact on our moods. It's a learning process...

Not sure what we'll do this afternoon - not sure if Kaden's up to anything.

I'm so glad that tomorrows our last full day and then Wednesday we're off!!!

Oh, Kaden's new favorite toy is his hair brush. Super exciting. We even witnessed him full-on crawl to it (not his usual, lazy army-style crawl).

Arbat

2005-07-10T04:33:00.000-05:00

We had a really nice evening last night -- another McDonalds dinner (maybe we could do our own documentary of eating nothing but McDonalds - we have our video camera) and we rated Kaden's performance an A++. Then we stopped and sat at a fountain where Kaden was all smiles and I certainly stored up some great memories. Kaden and I "walked" (I hunched over and he walking while clutching my fingers) from bench to fountain. We stayed for a while watching the splashing. I was oblivious to the fact that Kaden's pants had slid down and brought his diaper down with them. (Everything we packed - even though it's all 12 month sizes is a tad big on him) So we were enjoying the fountain and Kaden was mooning everyone. When I turned him around to walk back I discovered this and couldn't contain my laughter, especially since there was a second of full frontal before I scooped him up. (Kevin just sat on the bench and didn't say a word...)

Last night was Kaden's best bath experience. Kevin got in their with him and they had a good 'ol time. It was picture worthy.

Today I was worried because Kaden was fussy in the am and our plan was to take him to Arbat where we hoped to do our souvenier shopping. Once we got him outside he was happy. We left the hotel around 8:30 - got to Arbat street around 9am to discover we were early and the vendors were still setting up so we went to McDonalds and hung out fo thirty minutes and then got to shopping. (And our wallet is certainly lighternow) We didn't get back till 11:40 but Kaden was fine the whole time. The only one who almost had a meltdown was me - my shoulders were getting very tired of carrying Kaden in the Bjorn and Kevin was taking too long in a store. (He was supposed to be quick and then we were going to switch.) I got a little snippy in urging Kevin to HURRY UP!

Again both boys are having nap time. I think Kaden would be up for Gorky park this afternoon but I'm not so sure Kevin and I are up for that much more carrying today.

We'll see..

Two Tear Sneeze

2005-07-10T04:30:00.000-05:00

As of Thursday Kaden's lungs were clear and the doc said he was healthy but he seems to be affected in some way by all these new germs. He's always been weezy but now the snot faucet is turned on with a steady flow... And, poor guy, his eyes are all watery. When he sneezes hard a tear will come out of his eye/eyes. A "two-tear sneeze" is a big one!

Saturday in Moscow

2005-07-09T07:14:00.000-05:00

Well, I'll go back to Friday pm...

We decided to go to McDonalds for dinner. It made us a little nervous because this McDonalds is supposedly where social services was called on one American couple with an adopted child. But Kaden is usually so great in public places...

Of course he had a fit in the McDonalds for no apparent reason. We sat him in the high chair. I had the food ready but he just wailed. I thought it might be a diaper issue so I scooped him up and stood in line for the bathroom but as we stood there awhile he settled down some so I did a sniff check and he was fine. We returned to the table and again, he was fine. We'll blame that one on overstimulus too close to bed time?

I have a book with me on called "Your One Year Old" The subtitle says, "Fun-Loving and Fussy." I just has no idea that the two could be within the same minute! The tears will still be in his eyes and he'll be smiling and doing one of his goofy sounds to get me to laugh. I appreciate the following from the book, "There is noone more loveable, more unmoveable,more implacable, more challenging, more difficult to live with than your "typical" Fifteen- to Twenty-one month child."

We put him to bed around 8pm and did our usual hiding in the entry way. After about twenty minutes we emereged and he was asleep but something woke him up and he cried but then he decided to entertain us and although we tried to ignore him so he'd go back to sleep we kept laughing at him... He probally went down for good a little after 9pm but the good thing is we all slept till 7:45! The Hotel Ukraina doesn't have AC so we have a fan blowing and that helps block out the Kaden snores some. Also, I'm just getting more used to it.

Mornings are certainly Kaden's best time. He is happy and we are able to keep his schedule pretty much as it was at the orphanage (up, clean clothes, breakfast) and so when he's done with breakfast there generally aren't tears. We played some in the room then went for a short walk near the hotel then returned for our breakfast (comes free). We sat him the highchair and he was ok. He drank his juice and was petty happy. I cut some potato in small pieces and put in front of him - he ignored it. I put it in his hands. He threw it down. I tried to finger feed it to him. He spit it out. When I put it on the spoon he accepted it. Change will be slow in getting him to feed himself. It's not something I really want to tackle here anyway but it's funny how it doesn't even occur to him to feed himself...

Then we walked to a park that we had discovered last night on the way to McDonald's and after that it was morning nap time. He slpet from about 11 - 12 at which time I needed to wake him up to change him and feed him lunch before Alex, our Moscow coordinator took us to Red Square. Kevin and I visited Red Square in February at went to St. Basils so this time we went to the Kremlin. We just walked around and went into the Cathedral of the Assumption. We would have gone to see the jewels but it was after 3pm by then and I knew Kaden was going to start melting (as he did on the walk back to the car) and it was kinda expensive.

So, now we're back and I left Kaden crying in the crib and Kevin looking at our Moscow book. Tomorrow morning we think we're going to venture to Gorky park via ferry and maybe in the pm we may go to Arbat for shopping. But, we're parents of a toddler now, so it all depends on Kaden.

Oh and McDonalds food is good and I think we're going back tonight! This time we'll sit upstairs where it will hopefully be quieter.

Reading

2005-07-09T07:11:00.000-05:00

I am reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clark... on about page 580 out or 780 pages. Today during Kaden's morning nap I read and appreciated this quote by Jonathan Strange (it's before he heads off to Italy), "It is the right of a traveller to vent their frustration at every minor inconvenience by writing of it to their friends. Expect long descriptions of everything."

US Embassy Day

2005-07-08T07:17:00.000-05:00

I don't recommend traveling internationally with a 16-month old. All in all it's not very fun.

I can sympathize with Kaden. There are a million reasons for him to be upset: teething, upset stomach because of new food (which has indeed resulted in the runny sort of diapers - I spoke too soon before), learning to trust us, overwhelmed, homesick (it wasn't a great home but to him, it was home), etc. But his crying gives me a headache and he at it so long yesterday afternoon that I was in tears.

Yesterday he only ended up napping one hour. On a day when he'd gotten up at 5am! We got him down at 7:45 after many tears and Kevin and I hiding out of sight for a while (this does indeed work - it worked again for his 2nd nap today).

I will say though - on his behalf - he is very good in public. We went out to the hotel restaurant around 3:30 and I brought some baby food for him and fed him intermittently while we ate and he was fine. And we didn't have to take turns eating because they had a highchair. Yeah! And today in the Embassy he was fine the whole time. He got a little fussy once and we gave him juice. I worried that when he got to the end we'd be in trouble be he just tossed it aside. Then I worried because the lady sitting next to us got out some food for her daughter but just at that moment our number was called and we went up to the desk and then he was a his charming, talkative self - putting on a show.

But when we got back to the hotel... cranky Kaden. So I fed him, then wails, so I fed him some more but he clearly wasn't hungry (paying more attention to Kevin who was walking around the room) so I took the food away then mega tantrum so I put him in his crib, got the highest volume from him to date, Kevin and I hid out of sight - 4 minutes of wailing, 1 minute of fidgeting, then we was asleep. At least he went down for two naps today... so other than that tantrum before his last nap it has infact been an ok day with him.

In other news: Kevin hasn't been feeling well, and I who am not a picky eater am managing not to like anything so I'm existing on Ritter Sport hazelnut chocolate bars. All we're adjusting to like at the Ukraina vs. life at the Hotel Volgograd. The Ukraina may be a nicer hotel but the Hotel Volgograd was in a much better location (proximity to restaurants and grocery stores) for our purposes, and the Hotel Volgograd had a water heater thing in the room which we need for his hot cereal and formula. At the Ukraina we have to order room service "hot water" every time. It's free but we have to wait and sometimes with Kaden that's not so good!

We're a little annoyed about the fact that we're stuck here till Wednesday when in fact we could be going home tomorrow... (but there are no seats available Saturday - Monday, what's the use of changing to Tuesday, and we aren't willing to fly standby)

Apparently, our agency has us stay in Moscow longer than oh, all the other agencies. Reason being - we register our child with the Russian consulate while we're here. This is something that can be done at home, but we didn't know that. Our agency never presented this as an option. If you simply need to see a doctor and go to the US Embassy you only need ONE BUSINESS DAY in Moscow. We were told we needed three business days which, because for us it spans a weekend, means five days in Moscow - four of which were unnecessary. That's $720 extra bucks in hotel fees, three extra days off work for Kevin (who is having to work two Saturdays and must be in the very next after we get back as things stand right now), four extra days of being in a foreign country with a 16 month old. Grrrrr.

This was explained to us today at the Embassy (when the heard who our agency was they smiled and nodded and said, "Yes, that's the strong-arm way they seem to be doing it.") So we called Delta about flying home Sunday (leave one day for sight seeing) but there's nothing. They are overbooked and we certainly aren't willing to try standby.

Tomorrow we plan to do some sightseeing with out coordinator. I expect Kaden to be fine as he generally always in in public or new, fascinating situations. But all our sightseeing is contingent upon our coordinator. We aren't sure if we're willing to venture out without an interpreter considering what we've been told.

Pray that tomorrow is good day. We need to store up some good days and good memories before we have to contend with that transatlantic flight with him.

We're In Moscow

2005-07-07T04:55:00.007-05:00

Today he saved the messy, nasty diaper for me...

This morning we got up at 5am because we had a 7:10am flight to Moscow. Kaden woke up a much happier baby today than yesterday which was a good thing because he had his first ever flight!

I realized yesterday when he never did take a nap and continued to be cranky until 7:45 pm when he finally went to sleep that he just started liking us too much to fall asleep in our presence. He'd yawn and be half asleep then grin and clap his hands. To finally get him to go to bed I left him along in the room, sat in the hallway of the hotel for seven minutes and re-entered to find a sleeping baby. After fighting to get him to take a name since 1:30 that afternoon all it took was 7 minutes (or less) of alone time (no one to perform for) and he went to sleep.

I did the same thing this afternoon. We were in our hotel room and done with errands at 1pm and he'd already been nodding off in the car on my lap earlier - I knew he was exhausted but he wouldn't sleep - so Kevin went out to buy a Coke and I took a shower and by the time I got out of the shower he was out.

Now both boys are napping but A. I'm a bad napper and B. I can't sleep with Kaden's snoring.

Okay, I need to backtrack: Kaden's first flight - went fine. It's less than two hours and he was only cranky for about 15-20 minutes of that. We even got through the in-flight meal okay. (I fed Kaden and snuck in bites of my own.) His ears didn't seem to bother him - I had him suck on a bottle for take-off and landing and that worked fine. His crankiness was after the meal and honestly I think he just wasn't feeling that well -- perhaps motion sickness or the new foods hitting him wrong or the fact that he's teething. But all in all, he did fine.

Got to Moscow, got all our bags, our driver/escort person met us and informed us that we were going straight to the doctor to get that apointment out of the way. We were in and out in about 15 minutes and $100 in US cash later. The doctor told us that his lungs are clear but that he's mucusy and more drooly because he's teething. (Kirsten, I did pack the teething ring you gave us - and he likes it!)

We mentioned his "deviated septum" and the doctor just shrugged and said, "That's maybe nothing. Something he grows out of." Further confirmation that we should take Volgograd Orphanage doctors' diagnosis with a grain of salt. Another story to prove that: We found out that when one of our American friends was sick on their first trip (after we'd left) the orphanage doctor tried to tell her she was having a stroke!

From doctor, to hotel... We're in the Ukraina, a hotel in one of the big Stalinist towers. This place is huge and I'm just glad there are arrows all over because a girl could get lost...

Oh and the price of living has certainly gone up. In Volgograd I paid 48 rubles for an hour of internet. That's less than $2 an hour. In the hotel here, it's 75 rubles for every ten minutes. So I gotta go!

In the Hotel Volgograd

2005-07-07T04:55:00.006-05:00

Pictures taken on Oo Day

2005-07-07T04:55:00.005-05:00

In the Orphanage Music Room

2005-07-07T04:55:00.004-05:00

Flower

2005-07-07T04:55:00.003-05:00

I'm Gonna Eat That Bar!

2005-07-07T04:55:00.002-05:00

(This is probably our favorite picture of the digital ones we've taken)

Love that Face!

2005-07-07T04:55:00.001-05:00

passport picture day outfit

2005-07-07T04:55:00.000-05:00

Cranky Kaden

2005-07-06T09:04:00.000-05:00

He woke up crying which we took to be a bad sign and it has indeed been a fussy, tear-filled day for our boy. What amazes us is how happy he can be in one instant and then upset the next.

This morning actually wasn't so bad. He must not have gotten the best night's sleep because he got up at 6:45 and by 8:30 was down for a 1.5 hour nap. Then we went to Grand Cafe again where he was fascinate and fine so long as we kept the food coming (more on that later). We returned to the room and then I went off to the grocery store. When I got back I took him out and about in the hotel (it's a chilly rainy day) We went to the 4th floor lobby and watched the fish in the aquarium and banged on the piano until another American couple came and sat down to talk - for the next half hour Kaden just sat on my lap fascinated by our conversation. (So even on his fussy days he's a good baby so long as he finds something interesting about the situation)

At 1pm Kevin came looking for us and then he sat and talked while I returned Kaden to the room to give him lunch and try to put him down for a nap. Well, he's yawning and rubbing his eyes but he never went down for a nap so he's been crying on and off since one. The goo things is that the "on" literally lasts for maybe two minutes. We're very happy not to share in the "He cried for an hour stories" we hear from other American couples. Around 4pm he was his worst - because I gave him a snack but he wanted more... (We're told they'll eat till they blow up so we have to regulate... again more on that later) Two things always make him happy -- food or seeing one of us put the Bjorn on. (Mom - a Baby Bjorn is a baby carrier, where your baby is carried in front of you) So around 4:30 we took him for a walk even though it's a rainy, miserable day. At the end of our walk I parted ways with the boys to come to the internet place.... I'm not sure how Kevin's faring...

As for the food issue: We're feeding him a bowl of cereal in the morning and a bottle of formula, a jar of baby food as a snack before lunch and maybe some crackers and maybe some apple juice dilluted with water (using all three in some variance of amount -- all before lunchtime) lunch is a large jar of meat and potatoes baby food and cracker at the end. Between lunch and dinner the same assortment of snacks (one jar baby food either banana or squash, crackers, juice) and dinner is baby cereal and formula. He eats everything and ALWAYS WANTS MORE. If he sees food that isn't coming towards him, he cries. We cannot eat on front of him. We cannot hold a spoon or his bib or food or he'll cry until there is spoonful approaching his lips. In the morning we can't make breakfast fast enough...

I cannot wait unti the day when he actually refuses something I try to feed him. For his face to turn away in defiance! I will praise the Lord when that happens!!!

It's not even that he's hungry. The other day we fed him while we were at Grand Cafe (a jar of bananas) and he wasn't really interested in it. He was looking all around - watching the people, looking out the window, but he turned back and that spoon wasn't ready - he let out a wail. And when the jar was empty he wouldn't except juice or crackers he just started wailing so I had to go outside and let Kevin pay. BUT the minute we stepped outside he was distracted and happy.

The boy has food issues.

BUT the good news is he doesn't have diaper issues. So far two BMs in our keeping - and uh, how shall I say, they have been the right consistancy (which, considering all these new foods is great) AND he saved the fuller, stinkier of the two poopy diapers for Kevin.

On that note...

Pictures

2005-07-05T04:46:00.000-05:00

I'll post more pictures when I can. For some reason, after two the computer won't cooperate anymore.

Day Two As Parents

2005-07-05T04:24:00.000-05:00

So far so good.

When I left the boys to come to the internet place they were both napping.

The first night went fine. He was super excited and didn't want to sleep at all but by 10pm I got him to sleep and he didn't wake up till 6:45am today.

Last night he ate, he played, and he was not excited about the bath. We were gifted by some American also-adopting friends a baby tub and I was all ready to use it but Kaden didn't share my enthusiasm. I put about three inches of water in there and set his feet in (and believe me it wasn't too hot, if anything too cold) and he wailed. They usually (when we witnessed baths at the orphanage) just hose 'em, so tonight when we try again I'll set him an the empty tub and see how he reacts to the shower hose.

When we set him in his crib around 8:30pm he just played. We removed the one toy we had dangling from the side but then we played with the crib itself and sang to himself. Finally I layed him down and rubbed him... rubbed his belly, played with his hair... Whenever I stopped because I thought he'd fallen asleep, he'd wait for me to sit on my bed and then he'd silently stand up and start messing with the crib again. This went on for an hour before he fell asleep.

I was determined to get him asleep before I went to sleep because of the noise he was making. Little did I know he'd be noisier asleep than awake.

Kaden's got a nose issue. They're calling it a deviated septum. We're waiting till we see a specialist till we call it anything but a "nose issue." He breaths heavy during the day and at night - what a snorer!

So he got a full night's sleep, but we did not. (I know I must have fallen asleep at least once for 20 minutes or so because I had a dream where Kaden was walking but other than that I don't think I slept.)

Today: He had his first cafe outing and was perfectly good. He didn't mind us eating in front of him so long as he had snacks too. (Juice, then banana baby food, then a cracker) Then we had to visit the Registration office. Because we both had to sign the forms, he had to come too. He loved the walk and was fascinated by the building and he loved the walk home. But around 10:45 when we returned to the hotel he got instantly cranky. The hotel is already old hat and he was ready for a nap.

So I left the boys in the room and went off with the translator to the flight ticket place to take care of Kaden's flight arrangments to Moscow. When I returned both boys were sleeping. I hung out and listened to music (thanks again to the Capuanos for their ipod!) and then at 1pm left my still-sleeping boys to come to the internet place... So that's day two so far. Not bad!

Thanks so much for all the encouraging emails. I especially appreciated what Mrs. Gabrielson wrote, "July 4th -- what a great day to lose your independence!" And we most certainly have.

Duck

2005-07-05T04:23:00.000-05:00

Crazy Outfit on First Visit

2005-07-05T04:21:00.000-05:00

Happy 4th from the Strattons

2005-07-04T08:22:00.000-05:00

But more importantly, Happy Oo Day to Kaden!

Oo Day. The O's stand for Officially Ours. Some people call it Adoption Day. Some people call it Gotcha Day. We're calling it Oo Day. And why it's today when we had all that stress on Saturday because we were told it would be Tuesday, we're not sure.

We went to see Kaden for his usual 10am-12pm playtime and at about 11:55 our translator came to find us to say that she had good news. Tatiana (head honcho) was going to pick up the final court decision, did we want to take Kaden home today? Uh, YES! Apparently this registration thing could wait and we were allowed some bending of rules. We didn't know why but we didn't care! So we agreed that we'd come back around 2pm, after his nap, to get him!

In the two hours between, we got a crib sent to our room, prepared our gift packages for the orphanage workers, bought a cake for the orphanage workers and got back to the orphanage...

Kaden was up from his nap and fed (we think) and then they just put a blanket on a chair and set him down in his orphanage clothes. Changing him myself was the first test. I felt like I was on trial and if I didn't succeed they'd change their minds! But after I figured out how to get his funny orphanage clothes off it wasn't too hard. Besides Kaden likes getting dressed.

He cried some. All the workers were coming up and I think he knew it was goodbye and it's the only home he's known. It was ok for him to be upset! But the minute we got him outside and in the Bjorn and started in a brand new direction, towards the gate, we was big-eyed and fascinated! He remained fascinated and giggly the entire 25 minute walk to the hotel. (Sometimes we take the subway but we weren't about to do that to him yet -- especially when he really enjoys walking in the bjorn.)

When we first walked into the hotel room he cried when Kevin set him down but that was it. He's been happily playing and "talking" since. We didn't even bother to try to put him down for his 4pm nap. We know that he's too stimulated. Besides he's happy and has shown no signs of being tired. (Plus we're weening off his excessive naps anyway.)

In the few hours we've had him he's already experienced drinking from a sippy cup. (It took him awhile to get the hang of it but once he really got a a taste for that new flavor, apple juice, he got to chugging) He's also had some banana baby food as a snack and then a cracker which he did much better with today.

I left the boys at 4pm to email but the Internet cafe was impossibly slow today and even though I even switched computers once I never could get a web page to load. So then I checked on the boys (and was pleased to hear giggles and gurgles when I got to the door) and now I'm at the hotel internet place (which costs 3x more) because I had to get out our GOOD NEWS!!!

So he's offically ours on July 4th as originally planned. And we're officially parents. Hmmmm. Now what?!

Another Sunday...

2005-07-03T08:25:00.000-05:00

Today we got up and had our usual 9am breakfast at Grand Cafe. Then we went to the grocery store to get all the baby food and supplies that we would need that I didn't want to load our suitcases down by packing. (But we already have more room in our luggage because we've given away a duffle bag's worth of orphanage donations and there will be more room in our suitcase because of the orphanage worker presents which we packed and will soon unload.)

Because we skipped our morning visit, by 1pm I was missing Kaden and getting anxious to leave and go see him. (Our afternoon visit is from 2-4pm). Kaden was his usual happy self. Twice he had me laughing so much I started crying. And then he'd look at me, curious, his head a little tilted, as if to say what did I do to get her going like that? and then I'd just keep laughing. The fist time it was because I was tickling him under his neck (which I learned a long time ago is his ticklish spot) but then he was just acting ticklish wherever I touched him and his scrunched up laughing face brought on by me simply tapping his belly got me laughing...

The second time was when I got him to "sing" with me. Usually if I hum/babytalk in a highpitched voice he joins in and today he joined in but in the middle of our "song" he blew his lips together (some might call it blowing rasberries) as if to add a little percussion effect and it cracked both Kevin and I up... but maybe you had to be there.

My mouth was the fun toy for awhile today. He kept sticking his fingers in my mouth and feeling my tongue. Fun stuff.

Also today we very illegally slipped him a baby cracker (when the translator was off doing something). It was his first solid food and he had no idea what it was. I bit a piece in demonstration and then he immediatly started gumming it but that was it. He only gummed it until Kevin (finally) took it away which, of course, brought tears but he stops crying very quickly.

As for yesterday's annoying news... around 4:30pm we met with the lady in charge of things here. By then we knew there was no way of getting around it -- we were just annoyed at being the last to know. If anything, our adoption agency should have known to tell us... the Registrar is closed on Sunday and Monday. No one ever gets their kids on these days. So here's how I now understand it:

You have court and the judge makes a decision. You and anyone else in Russia have ten days to appeal that decision. On the eleventh day the court makes the decision final. If the eleventh day is a Saturday or Sunday then this doesn't happen till Monday. Even if the court makes the decision final on Monday you still have to wait for the registrars office to be open on Tuesday. Everyone seemed to know all this but us. So on TUESDAY, Kaden will be officially ours.

We did hear of a couple (one of the Spanish couples) having their court date postponed after they'd arrived in Volgograd and we're certainly glad that didn't hapen to us! If our court date had been postponed even one day Kevin's medicals records would have expired and we'd have been... screwed.

In other news... Our meeting with Tatiana (a.k.a. head honcho lady) didn't just cover the miscommunication issue. We also discussed what was to come in the next few days. What paperwork we'd be getting. What time to meet our translator on Tuesday. She was open to any questions from us and then she brought up the "Moscow stories" which we had already heard.

The attitude towards foreign adoptions isn't very good right now. And since the global climate is pretty anti-American this is taken out on English speakers with babies in Russia. Another reason for this is because of a recent news story of an American who abused (killed?) her Russian-adopted son. Anyway, the stories go that recently in two separate instances Americans in Moscow were observed doing something (anything) displeasing to a Russian onlooker who then called social services and their children were taken away. Originally we'd heard that one instance occurred in a McDonald's and another occurred because the child cried the entire plane ride to Moscow (from whatever region). But Tatiana was saying that one situtaion ocurred at the Hotel Ukraina. Of course, this is where we're staying. We don't mean to be paranoid but we are actually considering changing our reservation to a the very-Western and accustomed to Americans -- Marriot. It's probably too short notice, but Kevin's on the phone right now just seeing. If not, no big deal. I'm sure everything will be fine. We don't intend to hide in our hotel during our time in Moscow but we do plan to always have an interpreter with us when we go out and about so should an instance occur we've got a Russian speaker with us to speak up on our behalf.

GRRRRR

2005-07-02T07:51:00.000-05:00

So today I got pissed but am powerless to do a thing about it.

This morning as we waited for Kaden our translator says to us, "So you know you're getting him on Tuesday and not Monday."

Me: "No, Sunday is our tenth day so we get him on Monday."

Her: "Yes, but the registrar's office is closed on Mondays."

And then Kevin and I both probably started saying all sorts of things all at once.

It's hard to find loopholes when you don't speak the language or know the country so all we could do was express our anger. We have been told Monday all along. Why is this office suddenly closed? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I asked if they could draw up the paperwork on Sunday since this is our tenth day and then we could still come to get him on Monday. This seemed like a crazy idea to our interpreter. I kept talking. She kept using the word impossible. I explained that I was mad for a number of reasons. Of course, we are made at this sudden news so close to taking him home, but we're also mad because we will forever celebrate the day we get custody and we were excited that this day was going to coincide with a national holiday and his Gran Stratton's birthday. She sympathized, but...

So we're asking to talk to the director of things here in Volgograd. She couldn't be reached but we insisted our interpreter continue to try. We know it's the weekend but we want to talk to her. As soon as possible. If anthing, to express our frustration to the person who deserves it.

As for the rest of the day -- we visited Kaden twice. All was fine. Kittens. Giggles. Leaves which were more exciting than the rubber duck we brought. We are tired of the orphanage. We are tired of what we are limited to do at the oprhanage. The doctor's know and admit that he needs new foods and a new schedule but we aren't allowed to bring new food to the oprhanage or disrupt his sleep schedule till he leaves. We're frustrated. FRUSTRATED!

We plan on going only once a day till Tuesday. GRRRRRRR.

The Cost of Living...

2005-07-02T07:47:00.000-05:00

For us right now, not so bad...

Last Friday we exchanged $300 dollars and we didn't run out and need to exchange again until today.

So, for seven days on $300 we were able to pay for eating at restaurants every breakfast and dinner, buying snacks at lunch time, going to a museum, letting our camera go to a museum (see next post), riding a ferry, paying for an extra night's stay at the hotel, paying for a load of laundrey at the hotel, some groceries, some medicine (a chest rub for Kaden), one CD, and two DVDs.

Not bad, huh?

More Russia Randomness

2005-07-01T08:57:00.000-05:00

They so don't care about bootleg copies of videos over here that the other day Kevin was watching ON TV a bootlegged copy of Bruce Almighty (dubbed, but he must have been bored) As he was watching, a message would ocassionally scroll past, "If you are viewing this film... illegal... call this number..." So funny!

At the large grocery store here they take any bags you have and seal them in plastic before you eneter the store so you can't shoplift.

The other day at the museum we had to pay 70 rubles per person (under $3) and another 30 (about $1) rubles for our camera. If we'd wanted to videotape we would have had to pay 100 rubles for our videocamera (but we didn't do that). Our camera even got it's own ticket. Isn't that nice!

Friday's Events

2005-07-01T08:41:00.000-05:00

A busy day...

This morning I wore my new top and as soon as I walked up our translator said, "I see you have been shopping at Pro Mod." Then later when I saw the other translator she did the same. It's a popular store and a small city!

It was a little rainy this morning so we started off in the music room. Kaden was sleepy at first but woke up when we let him bang on the piano. He sat in Kevin's lap and sometimes he'd listen when Kevin would play and sometimes he would push Kevin's hand away for his own turn!

Then we were outside and it was fun because they had filled an inflatable kiddie pool with water and had various toys in it. Also, I brought cat food so Kaden got to see kitties stay in one place and could be very close to them.

After our two hour play time was up we brought Kaden back to his room. (when I say room I mean a room with 12 cribs in little sub-rooms about 2/3 cribs per subroom) Then we brought our orphanage donations to be inventoried (see next post). Then we checked on the Rose family to see if they'd already left with their son and they were in his room at that moment getting him (part of what showed me that not all rooms are created equal. Jacob's room was way cooler than Kaden's room and had way more toys.) We helped take pictures and video and were part of escorting Jacob out of the orphanage for good!

In the afternoon I was sleepy so Kevin did a lot of walking with Kaden in the Bjorn.
After our visit we met with the doctor to find out Kaden's sleep and food schedule (which we pretty much knew anyway) and to get tips for the transition. The doctors don't work on the weekends so we had to have this conversation today.

The doctor wants us to start introducing Kaden to new foods and change his sleep schedule right away. She acknowledged that his diet and sleep schedule are for a child younger than he is but he never moved up to an older room group because of his frequent colds. So whereas the Roses were told to keep everything the same we've been instructed to take more freedom. Hmmmm.

The doctor also let us know of two medications to buy. One to help prevent diarrhea which will be inevitable with all these new foods and another to help his immune system and prevent colds since he's about to be exposed to so much in transit.

A Little About Orphanage Donations

2005-07-01T08:27:00.000-05:00

I've come to realize that not all orphanage rooms are created equal. I'm not sure why but some rooms are decorated much nicer and have nicer clothes for the kids that sleep and play in that room group. When this dawned on me I went through all our stuff, pulled out anything that was age appropriate for Kaden's room and slipped it to them directly. They were especially appreciative about the baby shampoo - apparently they get one bottle per room per month. (There are 12 in Kaden's room.) I also bought for his room another mosquitoe repellant plug-in (what they use over here).

The rest of the stuff (still quite a bit -- mostly things donated at my two showers) we brought in today. We also had 4,000 rubles to give them for medicine (about $140). We expected to just drop off the stuff and to have the doctor give us a list of medicines we shuld buy. (This is what happened our first visit.) But this time they called up someone from accounting and inventoried everything and they accepted our cash donation saying that would be only be used for medicine since this is what we specified. (We trust them.)

Funny: They don't know what playdoh is... They didn't pay attention to it during our inventory. It was just considered a toy or something but after we left they must have opened it up and they had no idea what it was so a doctor came running after us and asked if it was medicine. We were amused. They only similar thing they have to playdoh is modeling clay but when I tried to explain the differences our translator didn't seem to get it...

It seems to me that our particular orphanage is doing good on clothes and toys. What they seem to need is shampoo and random practical things like doormats or curtains (for the new wing) and of course, vitamins and medicine. So, for Americans coming to Russia... I recommend you collect cash donations from your friends and family and either donate it to the orphanage or spend it in Russia on things that they actually need. Just a suggestion. We were happy we covered all the bases! (I even brought four doormats.)

Oh... and I've had people ask about wanting the orphanage's address so they can mail donations. That doesn't work because they have to pay an import tax on shipped items and the orphanage doesn't have the money to pay the tax to receive the items.

We have been blessed!

2005-06-30T07:24:00.000-05:00

I've said before that this whole process has taken less than a year for us and for that we are blessed. Our caseworker read over some of the posts I'd posted before this trip and thought we were thinking things were going slow and I told her well, between visits it's going to feel slow no matter how short of a time it takes. Because the time between visits is an eternity! And now we've got three more days and they feel like an enternity too! I'm tired of being Kaden's playmate I want to be his mom!

BUT I praise God that our story isn't the same as another couple we've met here on their first trip. They are TWO YEARS into the process. It's taken so long because they kept having to switch regions for a number of different reasons. Meanwhile, most of their paperwork has expired and has to be redone (which will not only be time consuming but expensive).

With international adoption, you just never know...

Thursday in Volgograd

2005-06-30T06:53:00.000-05:00

We visited the orphanage in the morning but not this afternoon. Today Kaden was particularly interested in the cats. There are a number of cats and kittens that hang around the orphanage (and a few stray dogs). Kaden isn't at all scared of the animals but none of them have touched him and he certainly hasn't experienced being licked by them. (Oh goodness, wait till he meets Gus!) I plan to get some cat food and bring it with me so that way the cats will stay in one place long enough for Kaden to get an up-close extended view.

We always bring at least one toy - I try to rotate them so he doesn't get bored. Today the only toy we needed was a big green leaf. Our boy is all about leaves.

There's a woman who's usually at the orphanage and at first I thought she was a worker because she is always walking around the building carrying a baby which is something the workers do -- they carry little babies in their arms for a bit outside. Babies that can sit up are piled two or three into strollers and walked around. Anyway, I realized that this woman wasn't a worker because she was only spending her time with one infant so today we asked our interpreter about her. Apparently, she's a Russian woman who has her child in the orphanage because she's too poor to take care of him. The saddest part though is that she's looks to be about five months along into her next pregnancy.

After our visit we went to the WW2 museum. Volgograd, formerly Stalingrad was completely bombed out. Completely. The entire city was detroyed and they had to start over. They left one of the bombed out buildings standing and it stands righton the museum property. We didn't get too much out of it because everything's in Russian but at the top level there's a painted panarama of the city at war and that was probably the most interesting.

Ok the computer just flashed the five minute times up warning so I just went and paid more money -- we'll see if I did that right...

After the museum we walked back and I hit some boutiques. Clothes are expensive. Even on sale you can't buy a skirt or pants for less than $40. After two minutes in the first store Kevin went back to the hotel without me. He was the only male in the store and so I told him I'd be fine by myself - I wasn't going to put him through that! I ended up buying one sleeveless top. In the third place I went into the sales lady started talking to me and so I said (in Russian), "I don't understand," so then I think she asked me if I was French which I found pleasing. (French women are skinny.) I told her (in Russian) that I was American. If she had looked at my feet (I was wearing Reef flip flops) she never would have mistaken me for a European women!

Kevin and I know how to say "I don't understand" and "I don't speak Russian" in Russian. We've also learned "one hour" or "half hour" which is very helpful in the internet place when I'm paying!
Numbers are also helpful. In restaurants we can now explain how many checks we'll need (because usually we're with another one or two couples) and how many waters. AND we can order that water without gas (ie not mineral water which is what Russians and Europeans consider as normal water) - all in Russian.

You Can't Get Your Hands On Him Yet!

2005-06-30T06:32:00.000-05:00

I know that I'm really doing all my friends and family a disservice by emailing out pictures and posting all sorts of tidbits about this adorable little boy... you all just want to get your hands on him. But you can't.

Kaden certainly doesn't think of us as parents and it'll take awhile before he attaches to us as such. The more he's "passed around" the longer it will take. That's why I'm asking everyone to respect our bounderies for the next few months. We've got a shy little guy on our hands we've got to be sensitive about this transition.

Some words from Kathy Killough, our adoption agency's "expert" on attachment: You are right in saying he will be traumatized with the move to a new home. Imagine how difficult it will be for child, a long flight, new sounds, smells, foods, and parents. The time change will also affect you and the child. It takes many families 2 weeks to adjust to the time change. His sleeping patterns may be different. It would be helpful for you and the child not to have anyone spend the night. I know it is difficult for people to understand this. Others are so excited for you. They have been a big support for you throughout the adoption. They can't wait to meet the child. It will be confusing for the child to have so many people around him. We want him to attach to mom and dad. If child has different people holding him, it will slow the attachment process.

YOU WANT TO BE SURE YOU ARE THE ONES HOLDING AND FEEDING THE CHILD. Sometimes it helps, if possible, to have the child in a baby snugli or baby sling. I'm not sure of his age so I don't know if this would work for you. It helps to keep the child close to you; you avoid having to "pass the baby around."

And from Patricia, our caseworker: It is my understanding from attending adoption seminars that it is best for the parents to LIMIT the amount of time people come to visit the children. I do not think it is a good idea if others (grandparents, for example) spend the night (at least for the first several months), because the children MUST see you and your spouse as the primary caregivers. If grandma and grandpa start showering them with attention, then the children might see any person as a potential “caregiver.” You understand, till this time, the orphaned child has not had one person to care for him but MANY caregivers at the orphanage. The child may not understand the concept of just going to Mommy and Daddy for their needs. What if child begins approaching any stranger for a need- out of the confusion of so many people visiting them and offering to shower them with love???

I think the suggested amount of time that you should really LIMIT the visitations and time by others is the first 3 months that child is home. Then SLOWLY other family members can come into the lives of child.

And more from Faydra, the mother: Our friends that we've made here aren't planning on introducing their boy to their family until Christmas (they live in SC, and the family is in Michigan). I think they think we're a little crazy since we have a trip to Tampa planned over Labor Day weekend and we're letting my Mom visit for her birthday at the end of August. Every child is different. Every family situation is different. But consider yourself warned that I may seem a little ridiculous about setting bounderies for my kid but you (all of you) are just gonna have to deal!

But we appreciate your love and prayers from a distance (for the moment)!

Timeline

2005-06-29T08:56:00.000-05:00

We get Kaden on Monday, July 4th and we were hoping to be able to leave for Moscow on Tuesday night but apparently the hold up is Kaden's passport. They told us we can't leave earlier than Wednesday night. We decided it might be easier on Kaden to leave on Thursday morning. Plus the hotel in Volgograd is much cheaper than the one in Moscow and since it won't make any difference as far as when we can get home...

So we bought our return flights to Moscow today. We leave Volgograd Thursday, July 7th at 7:10am. This means that we're pretty much on schedule to return to the States on the 13th and not any sooner. Oh well...

Wednesday

2005-06-29T08:41:00.000-05:00

This morning Kaden was very excited about my necklace. It induced sing-songy squeals. He also showed us that he can be stable on his feet when he's got something solid to hold onto rather than our fingers. Today he did a lot of inching along the gazebo.

After morning playtime we went to the river and took the one-hour Volga river cruise. It's only 65 rubles per person which is just more than two dollars. It was a nice relaxing trip and we had perfect weather for it.

We were late getting back to the orphanage but I wanted to go because we don't plan on going tomorrow afternoon (we're going to a museum) and if we don't go and stimulate him and get him in the sunshine then he two hours between naps will simply be spent in a playpen.

Some Pictures

2005-06-29T08:37:00.000-05:00

The gazebo was built in about a week by four craftsmen. It will be an outside playpen for the orphanage kids once they put a matress in it.

The obelisk is the monument in Hero Square.

The picture of us was taken after court. Anya, our interpreter stands in the middle.

Once Kaden is officially ours I promise to post pictures of him!

Rainy Tuesday

2005-06-28T11:01:00.000-05:00

It was the rainiest day yet so we were in the "music room" for most of the time during our visits to Kaden today. There were a lot of us in there... The Roses with their son, a French couple with their son, a Spanish couple with their son, a set of Spanish women (not sure about their story) and their daughter, us, and all our interpretors. It's a big room but we filled it! So, we weren't sure if we'd be seeing happy Kaden or overwhelmed, arm-up, shy Kaden. Fortunately he's so comfortable with us now that he stayed happy and even a little talkative. There's only so much we can do in the music room but Kaden's favorite thing was to crawl (he's a lazy crawler though - he does it army style) over to the row of kid-sized chairs along a mirrored wall. He pulled himself up to a standing position and banged at his image on the mirror.

Today marks the seventh day of orphanage visits. It's actually good to have this time before we get custody so he is familiar with us and trusts us so the transition won't be quite so traumatic. But still... I think we've hit our peak of how much progress we're going to make with him as his twice-a-day playmates. We can't wait for Monday to come! One positive though is that we heard from another couple that during their orphanage visit times for every three good days they had a bad day and in seven days we haven't had a bad day. He needed the first two days to warm up to us. Then we continued to make progress for two days and now I think we've just hit a happy plateau.

Things learned about Kaden:
He's got quite the outie bellybutton.

I told you that he cries as soon as he sees a bottle with fruit tea. He wants it immediatly! Well, not so with water. Put a bottle of water in front of him and he doesn't care. We've already got a sugar-addict on our hands!

New experience for Kaden: I let him hold his own fruit-tea bottle. At the orphanage they feed them so quickly that they pretty much pin them (hands down)for no interference and shovel the food in. At 15 months Kaden has had no experience feeding himself. None. But now he's at last held his bottle for himself. It's a heavy glass bottle too!

Tomorrow we plan to take the Volga river cruise -- should be fun!

More Russia Randomness

2005-06-28T10:57:00.000-05:00

Wedding couples go around and take pictures at monuments on their wedding day. Hero Square is right by our hotel so we saw five brides this past Saturday. As you can see Russian couples ride in better style on their wedding day than we do.

Monday with Kaden

2005-06-27T08:15:00.000-05:00

A week from today we get custody...

This morning as we waited on Kaden to be dressed I had some stomach issues so I had to find a restroom quickly. I could have done without ever using the orphanage bathroom. There's no seat on the toilet and no toilet paper. Luckily, I had tissues in my purse. When I made it outside the boys were already having fun. No matter what we did today Kaden seemed happy. It was his most "talkative" day yet. Especially fun was when I would carry Kaden in the Bjorn and walk him straight into tree branches. The leaves on his face gets him giggling every time.

Another funny thing was when we experienced "Drunken Gumby Man." We tried to let Kaden walk some today while holding our fingers but the boy has got no balance and not enough experience so he swayed and bent and staggered his way around. Quite amusing.

Unfortunately today we noticed that Kaden had gotten a gazillion mosquitoe bites on his face and ears and arms. The mosquitoes are a problem and last night they feasted on our little boy. It was a sad sight!

At the break between visits we visited a new shopping mall. Well, they call it a mall but half of it was what we would consider a flea market. We took a "fixed route" taxi there and that wasn't a problem. (Our interpretor got on with us but got off a little before but told another passenger to indicate to us when to get out). Taking the bus back to the orphanage we weren't so lucky. It was our first time trying the bus and aparently there was only one (out of five routes?) wrong bus we could take (but we weren't forwarned about this) so of course that's the bus we ended up on. We were late back to the orphanage for our second play time. Oh well. We tried.

Tonight we're going to Manhatten - a restaurant we liked last time. I hope I like my dinner!

Food Venting

2005-06-27T08:01:00.000-05:00

Okay so I'm a little frustrated with the food and my stomach seems to be just as annoyed. (I spent some extra time in the bathroom this morning.) I'm not a picky eater I've just been unlucky. For example. Saturday I ordered fish (sturgeon) but it was so rubbery I only ate a few bites. Sunday we went back to our favorite German steakhaus but it wasn't a hit this second time. Our beloved fried bread plate was burnt. But how can you send something back when you don't speak the language? So we ate our expensive croutons and kept quiet. Then three of the four meals came out (why would all four come out at the same time -- that's a silly American expectation!) and they were all the same thing -- pork ribs when only the boys ordered this meal. We asked to see a menu again to re-explain who ordered what. We realized that the chicken I ordered was right beneath the pork ribs and the waitress must have not seen correctly where I'd pointed. How do you remedy this when you don't speak the same language as your waitress? She conferred with fellow waitresses, we discussed at our table... our table was quicker. We called her back over and by pointing explained that Brenda would eat the ribs and I'd eat what she ordered when it came out... (I really prefer not to eat pork). This meal was a lamb stew smothered in dill. (I'm really getting sick of dill). I ate some of it but didn't love the broth. I've just been striking out!

The good thing is that the Grand Cafe is right around the corner from our hotel and I can order a good pot of English Breakfast tea with milk. That's been my comfort food while here.

More Russia Randomness

2005-06-27T07:52:00.000-05:00

At restaurants our meals never come out at the same time. It could be as long as twenty minutes between one person getting served and the next person's meal showing up. I guess maybe it has something to do with the fact that dining is an experience expected to take hours so what does it matter who's eating when?

There are vendors set up in the subway and the other day I saw a woman trying on a bra... over her shirt but it still looked funny.

Speaking of bras... it seems perfectly acceptable fashion here for ALL ages (grandmas too) of females to wear a completely sheer or lace top over a bra (no camisole or anything else). Another funny fashion thing for us is the shoes they wear -- men wear very pointy shoes and both men and women can be seen wearing shoes that curl up a bit at the end -- like what we would associate with a jester's costume. Another unfortunate trend right now is that a popular hairstyle for young women is a modified version of the mullet.

All the Time Sleepy Time

2005-06-27T07:48:00.000-05:00

As best I can figure it, this is Kaden's current schedule:

6am up, get fed
8am nap
10am up, get fed, (and ever since last Wednesday) crazy Americans come to hang out with him
12pm nap
2pm up, fed, more time with wacky Americans
4pm nap
6pm up, fed
8pm down for the night

That's THREE, two-hour naps a day! Too much crib time. No wonder his muscles are underdeveloped.

Sunday with Mother Russia

2005-06-26T06:06:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday and we didn't go to church but we have had a shot of Vodka. Uh oh!

This morning Kaden was a little fussy but not too bad. After two loops around the orphanage buiding in the stroller he was happy and then I decided to toss him up in the air and hold him above my head which he absolutely loved.

We are allowed to give Kaden a bottle of cold fruit tea during our play time and boy can he down that thing. If you pull it away he cries immediatly if he sees that there's more but if he sees that it's empty or you get it out of his sight he's okay. I can't wait till this boy learns that in his new life food is available in unlimited quantities. Nutrious, non-tummy-bloating food at that!

After our morning orphanage visit we went to a nearby restaurant for lunch. It was traditional Russian food and decor and our translator said it was obligatory that we go there. They didn't have an English menu but we figured out some things to order before our translator left us. I had pilmini (sp?). It's ravioli only shaped differently and there's no sauce. Instead it's served in a melted butter with a type of sour cream and sprinkled with dill. I'm not the biggest dill fan but I enjoyed my lunch.

Shortly after we sat down we (we being Kevin, myself and the Roses) were each brought a shot of vodka and a little square of bread with a sardine or something on it. (We didn't order this -- our translater had it sent) I liked the little bread/fish snack but the vodka burned going down! I'm just not a drinker.

After lunch we went to visit Mother Russia - a huge (much bigger than the Statue of Liberty) statue commemorating the soldiers lost in the wars. It's a bit of trek to see her and there are various statues and monuments along the way -- all very powerful. Most moving was the Hall of Valor a round building with a large torch in the middle. I said if any Russian leader were contemplating war he should take a very slow walk around the Hall of Valor and he'd have a much better perspective. It's a powerful monument and even more particularly powerful is the spot where you can see the head and sword of Mother Russia through the oculus in the roof of the building just above the flame.

Because of our sightseeing we did not go back to the orphanage in the afternoon but tomorrow we'll be back to two trips.

Another CWA couple has arrived for their first trip (and boy does their referred little girl have a set of lungs!) so we've got more meal partners for dinner tonight.

Saturday

2005-06-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

Today at dinner with the Roses we toasted to another task accomplished (passport pictures) and another day closer to taking home our boys.

This morning was a great playtime session with Kaden. He loved the baby Bjorn - no problems there. We took turns walking around with him in it. This was also the first day Kaden was willing to put his legs down and take assisted steps AND he was babbling most of the day especially when we let him pull leaves from a tree and watch them float to the ground - this was a very fun event that incurred mcuh happy babbling. We've been saying that developmentally he's more like 9 months (and not 15 months - his actual age) but as he warms up to us and shows us his "tricks" we're bumping up our assessment to 10.5 months!

Another funny thing: Today he was dressed like an American little boy because we had to take him off-site for his passport/visa pictures to be taken. They drsesed him immediatly after he'd eaten and with his bloated up stomach his size 12-month shorts were tight! But, 30 minutes into playtime his stomach went down and then they were hanging loose!

As for the afternoon... Not bad. But as the other couple, the Rose's noted, I had my first feeling of momma bear protectiveness. Kaden got scared in the car but I was able to reassure him and although he clutched me tightly he stopped crying after a second. (On the ride hime it took ten seconds, and he continued his firm grip on my arms!) When we got of the car he spit up probably from motion sickness (and the way the driver was driving I couldn't blame him!!!) but the interpretor was trying to hurry me because the picture place was going to close but I was like, Uh uh lady. I'm not jostling or disrupting this kid anymore than he's already been jostled and disrupted. We were late and that's a long story but ultimately it was the interpretor's mistake and I wasn't about to be rushed. It all worked out - my claws stayed in - but if the rushing issue had been pressed... I'm just glad it wasn't!

By picture #4 we got a good picture from Kaden. His passport will be much nicer than mine!

Russia Randomness

2005-06-24T08:34:00.000-05:00

Last time we paid 50 for our room. This time we're paying 30 and it's the exact same room. The only difference is in the bathroom. Before we had a shower. This time there is a hose coming out of the wall by the mirror and a drain in the middle of the floor. For 20 bucks a night that's ok with me! (The only inconvenience is having to wipe down the toilet.)

Selling illegal DVDs is obviously not prosecuted over here. Mr and Mrs Smith and Madagascar are already on DVD for sale in STORES (not just by vendors on the street).

Apparently on our documents they translated my name as something that would be pronounced "Fiedra" so that's how I had to introduce myself in court.

Today our Russian translator told us not to look at the Gypies because they can hypnotize us.

Today I was scolded by the same translator for sitting on the curb. It's apparently too cold. (It's in the 80s and I was wearing jeans!)

Augh, different cultures!

Friday News

2005-06-24T08:15:00.000-05:00

Today Kaden had no problems with Kevin - just decided he was over it. This morning the caregiver handed Kaden to Kevin and he didn't even scrunch up his face (what happens before tears).

We attempted to get Kaden in American clothes today but failed. They dress them much too warmly (and poor Kaden is always sweating like crazy) so I brought a short sleeved romper and asked them to dress him in it. The did but FIRST they put on him a long sleeved bodysuit and a pair of pants with feet. With the romper that was three layers of clothes! And they put socks on over his already covered feet. AND I'd say it was 80 today! They also won't let little kids go outside without hats on... but today we at least brought a cute hat for him.

Kaden loves to be strolled he giggles when he gets near it and when he gets taken out he looks down and stares at it.

Kaden is much more of a looker and a thinker compared to the other two babies being adopted by our group. One of the babies is "talkative" he says a "MAMAMAMAMAM" a bunch but Kaden rarely makes any noise... only when he's in the stroller will he mumble a line or two of baby gibberish.

After our second trip to the orphanage today we visited "Guido." That's how we exchange money around here. "Guido" is our nickname for a guy who sits in his car all day in front on the building I'm now in and he exchanges the money. We give our American cash to our interpretor. She gets in the car with Guido and then she returns with rubles. That's how it works in Volgograd.

The night before court I got pretty much no sleep and yesterday evening my stomach was updet so all I got for dinner was fried bread (it's good!) but last night I slept nine hours straight and today I feel great!

A good day.

Tomorrow we take Kaden to get his passport picture. I'm guessing it will be his first time in a car since he was taken to the orphanage from the Maternity Hospital. We're giong in the afternoon so we plan on introducing him to the Baby Bjorn during our morning visit.

Court's Over!

2005-06-23T02:41:00.000-05:00

And we get custody in ten days!

It was a small room which could have simply been the judge's office. He sat at his desk, a court secretary of some sort sat opposite him taking notes and an attorney sat next to the judge. (And apparently we got the nicest attorney.) Along one wall sat two social workers and a woman who works for the ministry of education. Opposite them, against the other wall, sat Kevin and I with our interpreter. At the back of the room sat the Volgograd CWA rep who is our power of attorney.

I spoke first. I had a speech prepared (but I was allowed to look at my notes) about what we were requesting, what we knew about the boy, and a little about us. Then they questioned me. I got a little unnerved with a line of questioning about how young we are and did we really know what we were getting into and what if we had biological children would we still love this one... But all went well. Then Kevin's turn. He just had to stand up and say he agreed with me and then answered questions. All the questions directed to him were about the stability of his job and our ability to provide for a child.

We were actually in court for one hour. I've heard it can go much, much longer but we were lucky. Apparently our only mistake was that Kevin put his hands in his pockets! (But the CWA rep got my attention and I rubbed his hand while he was talking and then he got the hint and removed them) We had a thirty minute wait then we were called back in and the judge read his decision.

And that's that! I told Kevin as we walked back to the hotel - maybe our only curveballs this trip will be the ones that Kaden himself chooses to throw... (How he going to react to the baby food I packed?!)

We will go back to the orphanage this afternoon to see him and tell him the good news!

We're Here!

2005-06-22T03:55:00.000-05:00

And we've hung out with Kaden!

We left America time the 20th and got to Russia the 21st at Russia time 10:50am. We then had to sit around till a 5pm flight to Volgograd. So, after about 24 hours of travel we got to Volgograd and met with translators, went out to eat with another American couple and then (then!) got back to our room to crash.

I'm already on a good schedule. I fell asleep Russia-time 11pm and got up at 7am. Kevin woke up at 4:30a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. That's what he gets for sleeping on the plane. (When I'm never able to.)

Today we met all the Americans here for breakfast and then got to the orphanage at 10am. Kaden wasn't too excited to see us - especially not Kevin. There is only one male worker at the orphanage, one of the doctors, so Kaden's only experience with men has been with one prodding him and such. By the end of our play time Kevin could get Kaden to smile but when I tried to hand off Kaden to Kevin, Kaden wouldn't have any of it. So, the ten-day waiting period does have it's blessings.

Kaden has definitely filled out some. He can stand but isn 't walking on his own yet. His hand-over-the eye guesture hasn't changed. We will go back to the orphanage at 2pm. Then at 4:30pm we meet with the Russian coordinator to prep for court.

Court is tomorrow at 9am. (we're 8 hours ahead... so you'll be sleeping, so pray tonight!)

And We're Off to Get...

2005-06-20T10:08:00.000-05:00

Kevin made these letters and they hang above the crib.

This Morning's Thoughts...

2005-06-20T07:40:00.000-05:00

On our last trip to Russia we were thrown some curveballs and had some very difficult days, so my excitement is unfortunately tainted with anxiousness. I pray and hope this will be a joyful trip where two leave and three return but then there are the thoughts in the back of my mind… So, I take much encouragement from your prayers and well-wishes and also from the following words by Oswald Chambers who always tells it straight!

Have you been bolstering up that stupid soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God?

All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God.

So soon!

2005-06-19T13:52:00.000-05:00

This morning I was a ball of nerves. We had baby dedication at church and two of the boys being dedicated were recently adopted from Russia. If that wasn't emotional enough - I had to hold it together for a solo song immediatly following the baby dedication. I got through the song no problem but only because I focused either on my music stand or the lights above my head... Couldn't look at friendly faces -- they'd have made me cry since everyone knows what tomorrow will bring for us! When I was done I sat down next to Kevin and let out a deep breath and some tears of emotional release!

The knots in my stomach are loosening however as we're enjoying a rather relaxed day. Our housesitters (my dad and Barbara) have arrived and we had Father's Day lunch downtown. (The George - a relatively new restaurant and we all liked it) Tonight for dinner I'm making chicken and shrimp kababs, hashbrown casserole, and homemade peanut butter pudding. I thought out this "last" meal, wanted to make it good!

We leave Wilmington at 1:09 tomorrow and then leave Atlanta (direct to Moscow) at 3:55. We don't arrive in Moscow till 10:25am on the 21st! There's an 8 hour time difference so we loose that time in the air. In other words we'll be in the air about 11 hours.

My travel books:
The Last Word and the Word After That by Brian McLaren I meant to finish this before we left but just didn't have time.
The Food of Love by Anothy Capella
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke

Kevin is still deciding...

Half our luggage weight will be books!

Time's Running Out

2005-06-18T06:54:00.000-05:00

Last night in the car Kevin said he feels like he should be getting ready for our trip to Russia and I said tell me about it! Even though that’s really all I’ve been doing since we got the news I keep thinking of things I want to do before we go but eventually I’m just gonna have to board that plane… Kevin has been busy this week with house projects such as changing the oil in our cars and sodding the part of the front yard the city tore up when they came through and dug for sewer pipes (we’ve been on septic). What he’d rather be busy with is making sure our camera batteries are charged and packing blank videotapes for the camcorder…

So what keeps occurring to me? Friday when it was too late to do anything about it, it occurred to me that I haven’t scheduled a pediatrician’s appointment for when we get back. (But I did think to reschedule my own dentist’s appointment.) So I need to do that Monday before we leave. Also, the list of things I want to buy either to take on the trip or to have at the house when we return keeps growing. Thursday night I went to Toys R Us and used the remaining amounts on my gift cards on small items I’d added to my list (such as travel size wipes container to fit in diaper bag) and I thought I’m done – no more shopping! But last night it occurred to me that we need another money holder (we have one, but we really need two) to have on our person, under our clothes. One more item means yet another trip to a store. I wanted to be done!

Little things, I know, but they all take time.

Today's Update

2005-06-17T10:40:00.000-05:00

I was out of the house for less than two hours this morning and that's when FedEx arrived, I assume with our travel visas. The door tag said they'd try again on Monday. I don't think so! I called to have the driver come back. If that doesn't work than I'll be going to the Fed Ex office before they close tonight. (I was ready to rush right back out the door but then realized my delivery probably wasn't at the office - it was still on a truck, riding around Wilmington.)

Phone just rang - Fed Ex. My package is at the store. Guess where I'm off to?

Glitch... Resolved?

2005-06-16T08:48:00.000-05:00

We still haven't gotten our tourist travel visas, so I checked this morning on the status of our order and it said that the estimated day of arrival was June 20th.

But we're leaving the 20th! It's only supposed to take ten days and I put this order in June 2! I wasn't actually worried, I was more thinking along the lines of... how much is it going to cost me to expedite things at this point?

But I called and the lady at gotorussia said, no, we should get them on Friday (the 17th). I pray she's right!

A Week From Today

2005-06-13T14:26:00.000-05:00

This time next Monday we'll be en route to Russia!

And in the meantime we're staying busy! Today I booked our hotel for the days that we are in Moscow. This morning I got my car washed and vaccumed out to get it all spiffy for the car seat soon to be placed in the back seat! I'm trying to cover all my bases!

We have our notarized, authenticated, apostilled (I over-nighted it to Raleigh and paid for them to over-night it back)) letter from our doctor that says Kevin's eczema won't affect his ability to parent. We're still waiting on our travel visas to come in the mail though.

As for Noodle: Since he got back from the vet he's been peeing all over the house so his way of life as the spoiled housecat has been (probably forever) changed. I've been putting him outside during the day and keeping him in the garage at night. This new plan seems to be working and now I can finally leave the nursery door open because I don't have to worry about the cat going in there and peeing on all of the baby's things or our luggage (something he has gone on in the past) which is in there spread out over the floor.

Our Adoption Timeline

2005-06-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

August 31 2004 filled out preliminary online application with Christian World Adoption

October 23 2004 home study

First week of January 2005 mailed off our first set of paperwork for our dossier

1/31/05 received referral and travel dates

February 18-24 First trip to Russia

April 1, 2005 mailed off our remaining paperwork (excluding Kevin’s FBI clearance)

Early May Kevin’s FBI clearance was mailed

June 1 We received our court date

June 20 Fly to Russia

June21 Arrive in Russia

June 23 Appear in court

July 3 – 10th day of waiting period, a Sunday

July 4th – If all goes well, this is the day our son will be “officially” ours!

More than nine months, but still less than a year. We’re happy.

The To-Do Lists

2005-06-06T11:32:00.000-05:00

1. Tourist visas ordered – check
2. Flights booked – check
3. Letter from doctor that judge wants… We have been told that we need to bring a letter with us to have in court that says that Kevin’s eczema is not contagious and won’t interfere with his ability to parent – partial check (I’ve requested the letter from the doctor but will need to pick it up, get it notarized, authenticated and apostilled in Raleigh.
4. Hotel Reservations – partial check (Volgograd yes, Moscow no)
5. Compile paperwork for embassy – partial check (one set of copies still to make)

That’s pretty much all we have to do to ready ourselves for the trip. My mental to-do list of everything I’d like to have done around the house before we go is much, much longer. (This morning I checked off “clean out the fridge.”)

And then there’s the social/fun to-do list – restaurants we want to try, fun things we’ve never gotten around to doing… Once we have a kid, events will have to be “sitter-worthy” so I’m trying to pack in all I can in the next two weeks! This past Saturday we went kayaking. We’ve already gone to the summer movies we wanted to see (Star Wars, Crash, Traveling Pants). This upcoming weekend we’ve got a double date planned at a restaurant we haven’t yet tried and we’re going to see Shakespeare in the park...

And then there’s the teaching to-do list. (Figuring out what assignments to drop since I won’t be around to grade them, devising lessons plans for the weeks I’ll miss.)

The good news is – this makes our time go faster! (Did I mention Kevin’s trying to get his pilot’s license before we go?!)

The Day After “The News”

2005-06-02T09:50:00.000-05:00

I have been sitting at my computer all morning. I’ve ordered our tourist visas and later today I will mail our passports to that company. (gotorussia.com) I’ve also been looking into flights and hotels in Moscow. It looks like our best (although not cheapest) flight bet is through Delta. Since our February trip they have just added a direct flight from Atlanta to Moscow! Before we had to go from Atlanta to New York and from New York to Moscow.

And because I like to think ahead I’ve been doing everything I can for our baby announcements which we’ll send when we get back. Today I’ve been compiling mailing addresses and starting to print them on the envelopes…

The Noodle News: His kidneys are in sorry shape. I’m thinking this incident has shaved years off his life. I get teary-eyed every time I get an update call from the vet. I’ll be visiting Noodle around lunchtime (like a hospital visit to a friend!).

Next Up: Call my grandmother in Germany to give her the court date news (no, she doesn’t check this blog!), finish some thank you notes, and get ready to go see Noodle.

So much for getting in a good writing day this week!

Russia Court Date – June 23

2005-06-01T16:09:00.000-05:00

Today has been a bad day. Noodle has been very sick, and around 11:30 last night I considered taking him to the emergency vet. I decided against it, but I woke up this morning to the sound of him throwing up and then the sight of him attempting to stand but then falling over. I called the vet and told them we were on our way. Long story short: a urinary block caused his kidneys to shut down. He has to stay at the vet till Saturday. He’ll survive. Our bank account may not and in the meantime I’ve spent most of the day crying about the fact that I thought my cat was going to die. Then, even once I knew he’d be okay, my emotions stayed on edge as each hour ticked away with NO COURT DATE NEWS.

(It’s also been a bad day because it is June 1st but it's rainy and 65 degrees outside. I’m a summer person. I want it 90 in the shade.)

Finally I had to leave the house. When you are waiting for a phone call, the only way to make it come is to leave the house. Sure enough around 4pm, just before I got in from the grocery store, our case-worker called.

Her message simply said that we had a court date and that I could call her or check my email. I checked my email – nothing. I had perishable groceries I wanted to put away and I wanted to call the vet to check on Noodle and I was still in a very bad mood and I was thinking she said we have a court date, that could mean it’s in August for all we know…

But it’s not in August. It’s June 23rd. As I was trying to leave a message for our case- worker Kevin called in on the cell phone and told me about the conversation he’d just had with her.

Tomorrow I’ll be busy getting our tourist visas and trying to book flights.

That’s a good thing.

2005-05-27T10:29:00.001-05:00

headboard and footboard

The Cradle

2005-05-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

One of my German cousins designed and commissioned this cradle and my grandmother paid for it as her baby present to us. When I returned home from Germany I brought the headboard and footboard with me as one piece of checked luggage. My mother carried the two side panels back to the States with her. When I went to West Palm for my baby shower I was finally able to retrieve the two side panels.

Just this week Kevin coated it and put a bottom in it and last night it finally made it into the nursery. Our son will be too old for a cradle so we are using it as a toy box. With the cradle in place our nursery is now finished!

Our son officially has the nicest room with the nicest furniture in the house!

2005-05-27T10:28:00.001-05:00

other side

2005-05-27T10:28:00.000-05:00

side panel of cradel

Kevin the Woodworker

2005-05-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

Kevin's latest nursery project, an end table, is now complete.

Next Week

2005-05-24T15:07:00.000-05:00

We found out today that the Volgograd rep for our agency is supposed to meet with a judge on our behalf next Wednesday, June 1st. That means we'll get good news (our court date and our travel dates!) or bad news (that they want more paperwork before we get a court date or travel date).

Pray that this meeting occurs as scheduled. Pray that we get good news!

No News

2005-05-23T21:42:00.000-05:00

But people keep asking so I’ll come up with something to report…

We were a little disappointed not to get travel dates last week, but after some speculation I’ve determined that this was probably a far-fetched hope. It’s likely that the Volgograd representative for our agency was waiting to get Kevin’s FBI clearance before meeting with a judge for our court date. The prints got mailed May 13th and she probably didn’t get them until the 19th or 20th. (She met with the judge on the 18th)

I’ve had some sad days, many “joyful in hope” days, but these days I am mostly feeling restless and antsy.

I can see reasons on our end why this extended wait works out, (We get to see family for Memorial Day, I am able to teach my classes…) But I can’t understand how this wait benefits our son in any way. We’re trusting so much that God is taking care of him, loving him in our place, but it’s a daily release to give those concerns and feelings over to Him.

This wait sucks!

Nursery Art

2005-05-17T06:58:00.000-05:00

I commissioned this piece for our nursery from a girl I went to grad school with.

News?

2005-05-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

I read on our adoption agency's webboard that the Volgograd representative will be meeting with a judge this Wednesday the 18th and so hopefully next week people waiting to go will get travel dates. Pray!

The Cool Cap

2005-05-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday I wore a strapless dress to a wedding. A lady at my church joked that it was a pretty dress but not very mommy-like. Hmmmm. I certainly don’t want to be one of those moms who embarrasses her kids by dressing inappropriately, but I also don’t want to be a fuddy-duddy mom either. Is it possible to be a cool, attractive, cooking-baking soccer mom?

Then I talked to my friend Kirsten about my fears. I don’t want to be the person who stops going out, stops volunteering, stops… everything because of the kids. But Kirsten told me that I have to accept a dropping in my cool quotient. She said you drop in each life stage. When you get married you just aren’t as cool as the singles. When you start having kids you just aren’t as cool as the fun, easy-going newlyweds.

And she’s right. Walking around the grocery store with baby goo on your clothes… Not so cool. Showing up everywhere 15 minutes late looking frazzled, and with your baby’s clothes on inside out… Not so cool. Declining an invite to an afternoon event because it coincides with your child’s naptime… Not so cool, but inevitable.

The fact is the only way I can be cool and have kids is to land a movie role or a recording contract and hire a nanny to do all the messy, gooey, un-cool parts of being a mom. But then I wouldn’t get to be a mom. And I really just want to be a mom.

Before we go back to Russia I’ll be doing a lot of reading (my current stack of books covers organic baby food, what to expect from a one-year old, what every adoptive parent should know, and creative discipline techniques) and a lot of thinking (how to strike balance, how to nurture this child, should I grow my hair out to avoid the accusation that I have a mommy-cut…). By reading and thinking, thinking and reading, I’m trying to figure out just what kind of mom I want to be.

And although I haven’t figured out what Faydra-as-Mom looks like (and won’t be able to until I see how my child’s personality fits into the equation), I can tell you right now, the strapless dress stays. Because if it looks good on me, and the kid hasn’t spit up on it, I can wear it.

May Day and Victory Day

2005-05-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

Russia has two major holidays in early May so we aren’t really expecting to hear any news, but I can’t help but wish for a court date in Russia anyway. It would be the best possible Mother’s Day present! If not this week than at least this month. (keep praying)

Anyway, about those holidays:

May Day (May 1st which was Sunday, so I assume no one was working today?), until recently officially termed International Workers' Solidarity Day, is now known as Spring and Labour Day. On some years, it occurs on or close to with Russian Orthodox Easter, so some people celebrate in church while some attend customary demonstrations.

Russia celebrates Victory Day on May 9 to commemorate the millions fallen in World War II. Flowers and wreaths are laid on wartime graves on this day, and veterans come out into the streets wearing their military orders and medals.

Squeaky Frogs and Cashmere

2005-04-29T20:17:00.000-05:00

My long-time friend, Donna and my mom hosted a shower for me last Saturday in West Palm Beach. It was mostly friends of my mother who are excited about this adoption journey and I’m more than happy to talk about the process especially when, as I’m talking, I’m opening fun, new baby gifts!

The most unique gift certainly goes to Donna’s mother who gave me a 100% Cashmere baby sweater. How Palm Beach!

Update from Our Agency

2005-04-19T06:26:00.000-05:00

Since we had (as in past tense, see next post!) the fingerprint issue as our foremost concern and problem to tackle I've pushed the other issues concerning Russia (the slow downs due to reaccreditation issues) to the corners of my mind, but I was encouraged by this update from our agency:

"Our Russia program has seen a lot of activity over the last few weeks. In the last week alone four of our families/cases have received release letters in three different regions. These letters were for families who made their 1st trips in December and January. We are still waiting for one more release letter for a family who made their 1st trip in January, but we expect it soon. Then, we will just be waiting for release letters for families who made their first trips in February or later. Indications are that the process of issuing release letters is finally catching up, and will be quicker in the future. The court hearings for these families are being scheduled within a few weeks after the release letters are received.

Additionally, we have several families making 1st trips to various regions in April. So, we expect many families to be traveling, and maybe crossing paths between the US and Moscow in April.

We anticipate the accreditation process to begin in April, although our agency has not been told a firm date yet on which this process will begin. Our Moscow office manager is keeping a close check on the progress, and will let us know as soon as any accreditation news is released, and especially when CWA will receive our renewed accreditation certificate.

There was a round table meeting yesterday in Moscow, concerning orphaned and abandoned children in Russia. Individuals attending this meeting were discussing the benefit of promoting adoption of these children by Russians, and then international adoption as the next best option for the children. From the media reports, and a statement issued by Ambassador Alexander Vershbow, the meeting seemed mostly positive regarding international adoption, and discouraged opposition to international adoption."

As for us, we made our first trip in mid February and mailed off our second set of paperwork March 31st. We have found out that our paperwork has all been translated and has left Moscow so really it's just up to Volgograd to set our court date.

Good News!

2005-04-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

Since Kevin failed his third fingerprint test, the FBI agreed to do a criminal background check using his name and social. Finally! We should be getting his clearance letter in the mail later this week.

Yipee!!!!

“When do you go back?”

2005-04-18T06:35:00.000-05:00

We are often asked, “When do you go back?” The answer to that is, IF they are setting our court date (in spite of the fact that it’s missing Kevin’s FBI clearance), we won’t know until two weeks before we are supposed to leave, but we are hoping (and praying every day) that we will travel in June.

(There are other IFs as well, but I try not to think about them.)

Still No Prints

2005-04-18T06:33:00.000-05:00

No luck with the third set of fingerprints. Kevin is going to talk to our main contact from the FBI sometime today to see where we can go from here. We’ve also contacted our congressmen and there’s someone in his office who has been steadfastly working on it.

If someone were to eavesdrop on our conversations what would they think!? We say things like: “Did you contact the FBI?” “Well, I spoke to the congressmen’s office and they said the state department is contacting Russia on our behalf.” Etc. All this for an adoption.

Fun Red Chair

2005-04-11T06:19:00.000-05:00

Here's our fun, red chair beside the bookself Kevin made. It came in this Saturday. (I sewed the two little accent pillows!)

Welcome to our World!

2005-04-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

We had a nephew born on Friday! Will James - the son of Scott and Jaime James (Jaime being Kevin's sister). We plan to meet Will over Memorial Day Weekend - the first chance we'll have to travel down to Tampa. Hopefully our boy will get to meet him at Christmas time.

2005-04-09T15:53:00.000-05:00

This is baby Baby Will! He's our first Stratton-side nephew. He'll be the cousin closest in age to our baby.

Third time's the charm?

2005-04-07T18:14:00.000-05:00

Kevin got fingerprinted for the third time today. (Well, fifth time in this whole adoption process but the third time for the FBI.) No, he hasn't grown any fingerprints in the past few weeks but from set 2 Patti (our new connection) said "her people" could possibly get a reading on three fingers on his left hand but they wanted another set.

I don't understand either.

April Showers!

2005-04-04T18:15:00.000-05:00

I had a baby shower this past Saturday. Now if I could just get a baby!

Friends from church church, Heather and Rebecca, hosted. Kirsten, a friend I've known since 7th grade, even drove down from Virginia for the event.

They served "Russian Tea." It wasn't the actual tea that made it Russian but some orange stuff Rebecca conncocted that you were supposed to stir in. It had a spicey, tangy flavor. Hopefully we succeeded at being authentic!

I have another shower, this one in West Palm, later this month and we're hosting a shower for another church friend on the 17th. As they say, April showers...

Some pictures follow.

2005-04-04T18:14:00.000-05:00

some loot

2005-04-04T18:13:00.001-05:00

The super-adorable cake.

2005-04-04T18:13:00.000-05:00

The spread.